Not feeling good enough is one of the most common emotions that stop people from living the life they really want. Let's see how we can overcome this.
Where does that come from?
A parent that suffers from this too?
Someone's comment or continuous comments?
Social Media pressure?
The list can go on and on and on and we can keep harping on about why. Staying stuck back there and not moving forward.
For most, it is a combination of a lot of these but at the end of the day, our self-doubting voice is a lot more primitive than that.
It is the voice that wants to keep us safe.
Out of harm's way, even if that place is really bad for us. The ego doesn't give a shit about how it makes us feel, it is wired to keep us safe and to survive.
Mr/Ms Ego wants us to stay put when they are not certain where we are going or how we are getting there.
You will recognize when Ego comes in to influence you to behave in a safe way - he/she will sound something like this:
It will NOT try to make you feel good or happy or supported. It knows if it is harsh, cruel, and really aggressive it will have the best results.
The first thing to always remember is you are not alone.
EVERYONE deals with Imposter Syndrome in one way or another.
I have met people that have multiple PhDs, are CEOs of large companies, and that run a home full of kids like a military operation.
From the outside, they are top of their game.
The reality is deep inside they struggle with Imposter Syndrome.
" One day people will figure out I am not as good as my title says, I am not as organized & efficient as my schedule may seem..."
The reality is, we all deal with Imposter Syndrome and like every other shit fest that hits our brains, whether that be aggressive customers, negative feedback, failing at a project, closing a business -
Whatever it is: that inner visitor will come to try to influence our journey.
( I really believe these voices are NOT our true selves - if you haven't already PLEASE read this book: THE POWER OF NOW - Eckhart Tolle )
THE TAKEAWAY IS THIS: IT IS HOW YOU DEAL WITH IT. THAT IS OUR SUPERPOWER.
I have talked about this before - how we need to recognize the feeling when it comes.
Create a space to PAUSE.& then CHOOSE how you move forward.
I like to chat to my Imposter Syndrome voice like an annoying snotty noised boy. Yup, I choose a gender opposite to mine because this voice is NOT me. Not a version of me, not related to me in any way.
I separate myself from those sentences of self-doubt and critique.
You can’t completely abolish negative thoughts and doubts from your life, but you can commit to not staying stuck in them once you become aware of them.
Always remember this:
You are in the minority of people who actually get up off their arses and put themselves out there with their passion and creativity.
You are in a small percentage of people who have the courage and drive to JUST DO IT.
So instead of hugging that snotty arse hole and listening to the drivel, I want you to remind him/her that yeah it feels a bit yuk right now but it won't stop me, so get back into your corner now - and BLOW THAT SNOTTY NOSE!
We have heard this a gazillion times but you will hear it AGAIN from me.
Something doesn't work = opportunity to learn from it.
When I 'failed' at fulfilling the project of an eCommerce Marketplace for Creatives - I closed that project - had a cry and a chat with snot head and then looked at the learning.
What did I learn from that?
How can I apply that learning to what I am doing now?
* "Easier said than done" - I know you are thinking that...
My question now to you is: ARE YOU ASKING YOURSELF THAT OR IS IT YOUR VISITING MR/MS EGO? ...
Yeah I am here to melt your brain a bit *
( side note: do something really great for YOU right now and subscribe to this blog here..shameless plug moment )
To kick this bit off I want you to stop and grab a piece of paper and a pencil and write down the 3 things you have done this year you are proud of.
There are probably a lot more than that but I want you to focus on 3.
Now stick it up on the wall in your office or studio. Thanks.
So when you do something cool - you are really happy, you are getting loads of brilliant feedback and you are riding high on that adrenalin of achievement and self-worth.
Someone fucks the whole thing up.
They tell you, you are NOT good enough.
They say you are too expensive, not polished enough, the website looks shite, your story is boring...whatever way it turns up - this ONE comment, email throws your off completely and you obsess about it.
When ( because they do come ) it comes I want you to stand in front of that list you made and stare at it. I want you to read them out loud and I want you to remind yourself of all the GREAT work you have done.
I then want you to obsess over reading testimonials, positive comments, supportive messages and fill YOUR brain with that information.
Your snotty-nosed friend will be silenced because you are far too busy consuming the important messages.
Make sure you also lean into any groups or communities of people that will support you on this journey. Running a business is the BRAVEST thing anyone can do.
You are exposed, you are responsible for it all, you are vulnerable but you are fucking MADE FOR IT.
Go forth and create the dream Biccies.
The world needs your work and the amazing experiences you can bring to the world.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
If you haven't already please also read this book aptly named:
YOU ARE ENOUGH - Merissa Peers